I had just finished an end-of-term evaluation by the Board of Governors. While the evaluation was affirming and pointed out helpful areas where I could improve, I have decided that evaluation is my second most favorite activity . . . My most favorite is having my teeth drilled.
The very word evaluation floods our minds with painful memories of school. From the first grade we are evaluated by how many words we misspelled, how many “sums” didn’t add properly and by inability to identify what happened in 1066. Evaluation is often a synonym for embarrassment.
A common disease of missionaries is the “impostor syndrome.” We often have a deep-seated feeling that we are not as good as people think we are, and fear that someday people will discover how incompetent we really are. Evaluation becomes a dreaded enemy, or a game for hiding reality.
The threat of evaluation can make us defensive rather than visionary. We are tempted to set easily attainable goals so as to look good on an end-of-term evaluation, rather than setting big audacious faith goals which if not attained may make us look bad.
Missionaries are often at the point of being overwhelmed with heat, culture shock, political instability, fear for safety, loneliness or worry about financial support. The last thing you need is an article from “those dunderheads in Charlotte” waxing eloquent on the glories of evaluation.
In light of our fears, here are some thoughts on evaluation.
1. Jesus’ love for us doesn’t depend on our score on a language exam, our level of cultural adjustment or our third-culture-kid parenting skills. His love for us doesn’t depend on a performance evaluation interview. There is no way he could love us more, it is pure grace. What a relief!
2. The word evaluation means to place value or worth. Each of us has infinite worth in the eyes of God. We have no idea how greatly we are valued by the person who knows us best. What wonderful medicine for the disease of the impostor syndrome!
3. Since God’s evaluation is not based on performance but on grace, we need to evaluate each other through God’s eyes. He isn’t finished with any of us yet so we need to be patient with each other. To paraphrase C. S. Lewis, if we could see the seemingly least competent missionary or national brother as they will be when the Lord is finished with them, we would be tempted to bow down and worship them. Let us love one another!
4. Our Father in heaven loves us so much that he hates any idols or sins in us that get in the way of his love. He evaluates our hearts so he can bless us more deeply. May His loving evaluating drive us to daily confession, cleansing and refreshing revival!
5. We should love Jesus so much that we should constantly seek to improve our effectiveness in serving Him. How amazing that the King of kings should choose us to be His ambassadors. The best motivation for evaluating our ministry is love for Jesus!
6. Our loving Father doesn’t demand results, but requires faithfulness. We won’t be evaluated by how many churches we planted, how many students we taught or how many sick people we healed. May we always seek excellence as we serve the Lord with gladness and wait for His final evaluation:
“Well done good and faithful servant.”
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